![]() ![]() Introduce a core mechanic where we have to dodge roll when an enemy robot tries to squirt us with the water bottle.”Īs the chain of contextual prompt hunts continued it wasn’t looking good. And all the time I’m doing it I’m silently praying “Please don’t be a fucking walking sim. ![]() Initially by pressing forwards and looking for the contextual “jump to here” button. “See if I ever spaz out at those ungrateful motherfuckers again,” you seem to say as you awaken in a sewer and begin an adventure through a walled-off cyberpunk city to find a way back outside. Shortly we lose our footing and plummet down a big dark pit as our siblings watch and do bugger all to help because they’re cats. After dutifully spazzing out at them all one by one, the game proper begins and we travel through the facility largely by pressing forwards and looking for the contextual “jump to here” button. As Stray opens our cutey wutey ickle wickle protago-wotagonist wakes up in some kind of overgrown abandoned industrial facility with three of their siblings and immediately we move and control very convincingly like a cat because the only thing we can do is walk up to one of the other cats and then press the contextual “spaz out for no reason” button. Probably because video games are by nature task-oriented and while a dog will follow commands as long as you feed them or praise them or continue to be in the same room as them, your average cat wouldn’t lift a paw to plug its own life support machine back in if it thought you were commanding it to do so. I think a game where you play as a cat is unprecedented – non-anthropomorphic cat I hasten to add, before you Blinx the Time Sweeper loyalists come hassle my bollock sockets – dog people have had Okami and that one level from Call of Duty Ghosts but until now there’s never been an equivalent for the Garfield readers of the world. Yes, it’s Stray, a post-apocalyptic cyberpunk adventure thingummy-bollock with the central selling point that you play as a cutey wutey ickle wickle kitty witty and there’s a special dedicated meow button. Well that was hardly worth turning off the wank cellar air conditioning. A game? An actual new game with some buzz around it and graphics and absolutely no motherfucking deckbuilding? Rise from your graves, industry correspondents! The drought is over! The sun has risen on a new age of – oh I finished it in four hours. What’s this? I cry as I emerge blinking from the wank cellar. We have a merch store as well! Visit the store for brand new ZP merch. Want to watch Zero Punctuation ad-free? Sign-up for The Escapist + today and support your favorite content creators! This week in Zero Punctuation, Yahtzee reviews Stray.įor more major games Yahtz has reviewed lately, check out Rainbow Billy: The Curse of the Leviathan, No Man’s Sky (in 2022), a history lesson of Bob’s Game, Neon White, Sifu, Hardspace: Shipbreaker, and Elden Ring. ![]()
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